i lack

of course, in the eyes of some or many, i lack. big hairy. or i don't have what it takes, or am unworthy of the stupid or conniving accolades of others. what's that mean? nothing. same as all the other stuff some try so desperately to hoard as if they can take it somewhere after death the way many inherit debt, even for dying. it's not like i want to say "bite me" and i'm not about to utter threats, apologies or anything. silence would be too sweet. stuffed.

all afternoon i've been in the sand of another's nightmare deams because my sand doesn't have cute walls and doesn't induce sleep. lol. won't help me like an unimaginable sale or disaster, accident. why would i want? why did i commit in the first place? it was more than enough try and work with words.

t: black
loc: conctr
temp: -4 c
sound: bad news on tv from the next room (empty) + pantera's the great southern trendkill in studio