01 April 2008

Happy Olde New Year's Day

Today, China has announced the freeing
of both Mongolia and Tibet, and recognized
Dali Lama as spiritual leader of Tibet.

Pope Benedict XVI had dissolved the
Holy Roman Catholic Empire according
to the last faint words from sources in
the now ghostly, abandoned Vatican City.

Shell has announces that every Nigerian
is now an owner of their petroleum giant
and is set for life without poverty.

Militant Muslim clerics stating
they "got it all wrong" and that
their "way is meant to be peaceful"
have urged the end of fighting and
the destruction of all weapons.

After his unexpected pronouncement
of US withdrawal from Iraq, Iran,
Afghanistan and Guantánamo, Cuba,
George Bush announced his resignation
from the presidency saying that he
"led the people astray through
fear and intimidation." He went on
to say that the military budget
will be redirected into guaranteed
education, health care and annual income
for all citizens and residents of the
great nation henceforth to be known as
the United States of Central North America.

The Big Six automakers have anounced
that gasonine-fueled engines are
a thing of the past and have unveiled
new water and solar powered vehicles
already in production world wide.

North of the border, where Canadians are
already familiar with the "CN, eh",
Harper took the hint and resigned
but not before locking in guaranteed
annual income, health care and education
and a requirement that all businesses
and agencies, including governments,
contribute a minimum of 10% of their
gross revenue to the arts and culture.
. . . if only this were all true . . .
sadly, fiscal new year's day for many
is April Fool's Day for many more . . .

shirt: blue & white striped BD Baggies
loc: fredheckton
temp: 0
sound: U2 "New Year's Day"

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